Difficult Conversations; How To Have Difficult Conversation? 4 Best Hacks

How to have difficult conversations? Or the best way to practice difficult conversation exercises. Here get the step-by-step guide.

Sometimes we need to tackle the difficult people. If you feel like you cannot hold the challenging or difficult conversations, you are not ready for the perfect leadership. There are four essential things that you need to consider while holding a tough conversation.

The expert Joseph Grenny, the co-founder of the Vital Smarts and the author of different books, has written these four tips and shared his advice through the low performer and the boss’s account while considering examples of difficult conversations in life.

How to have difficult conversations?

1.      Get the right motive.

It is easy to put off the critical conversation for the apparent sake of keeping things in peace. If you delay the crucial conversations, you need to make everyone in your team feel safe while speaking up. It must be like if your team is easy but can discuss whatever they felt to discuss by respecting their positions.

2.      Get the right emotions.

Getting past the feeling angry, defensive, or hurt is essential, as it avoids the situation like victim and villain. In any conflictive case, the person who initiates the conversation acknowledges their responsibility for all the unwanted outcomes. However, the boss in this story will not do this.

3.      Gather all the facts

Getting all the facts is essential for a healthy conversation, as a part of your homework. Having all the points means to get the straight passage is the possibility that you might not have the right picture despite all your efforts.

4.      Getting curious

Curiosity can make you persuasive. The prime reason for curiously can make you compelling because that will lead you to ask questions and then listen rather than spouting off.

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Scenarios to practice difficult conversations

Rewarding bad behavior

Mostly the boss will not correct the unsuitable behavior. He will not restore the lowball performers’ ethics even after giving him the series of raises for the whole nine long years. You can be fired at the point.

The conversation you have been putting off

There are several books on challenging, crucial, and different conversations like “ Difficult Conversations: How To Discuss What Matters Most” Those are the times when you must know to whom you must talk and in what ways, but you don’t know how to do it. It might be possible that you have tried but have failed badly. Or might be you are wondering that the whole situation gets even worst.

Here we will give you a brief practice of the strategies for difficult conversations at work. You will get the checklist of the action items to think about this before passing into the conversation. Some meaningful discussion and some important suggestions and tips will help you stay focused and follow the possible conversation openings.

How to have difficult conversations?

  • You need to notice one theme throughout, and you have more power than you are thinking.
  • Practice before the conversation how will it lead
  • Ask yourself some questions beforehand.

It would help if you asked yourself some questions before going into examples of difficult conversations with clients:

  • The motive of having the conversation
  • What do you want to accomplish?
  • What is the ideal outcome?
  • Check for hidden purposes.

What are the intentions of the speakers?

You might feel intimidated, ignored, belittled, or marginalized, but you need to be cautious about this because the speaker’s choice does not have an identical intent.

It would help if you had noble goals like increasing connections with teens, educating employees or the language is critical or condensing.

There are some other purposes which are more useful than others. You must work on yourself so that you have a supportive sense when you enter the difficult conversation exercises.

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Four Steps for the successful outcome

Most of the work, while you are getting into any conflict, is to work on yourself. It does not matter how well the conversation begins; you still need to stay in charge of yourself, your emotional energy, and your purpose. Center, breathe, and continue to notice when you become off-center and when will you return there again.

1.      Inquiry

Improve the attitude of curiosity and discovery. Pretend that you don’t need anything and you are trying to learn as much as possible from your partner or opponent and his point of view. It would also help if you pretended that you are entertaining the visitors from other planets and exploring how things will look on that planet. How those events will affect the other person and what the priorities and values are there.

2.      Acknowledgment

This means that you have understood and heard. It would help if you tried to know how well the argument is essential for him, and you need to do it. Explain to him what he must know about you, and you need to make him understand where he stands.

3.      Advocacy

When you are sensing your partner or opponent all the energy, you need on this topic, your turn. You must see from your perspective what he is missing. Also, such things will clarify it without minimizing it.

4.      Problem-solving

Suppose you are ready to begin building solutions. Ongoing inquiry and brainstorming are essential here. It would help if you asked the partner or opponent what he is thinking. Whatever he is saying you must build on and you must like it. If the conversation is adversarial, then go back to the inquiry.

How to start?

In my workshops, there are some common questions about how to begin the conversations? Here are the common conversation openers I have picked for several years, and you can use them several times.

  • I have something important to discuss that will help you work together more effectively.
  • I have something to talk about (topic), but I want to know what your point of view is.
  • I need your help with whatever is happening there, do you have something to talk about for a few minutes.
  • I want your help with something. Can we talk about it any time soon? If the person agrees then follow up with him in a little while.
  • I suppose we have different perceptions of (something). I want to listen to your thoughts on this.


Think of the conversation you have been putting off. There are several considerations that you must while holding difficult conversations. When you are managing difficult personalities, it is best that you must plan out the whole discussion before answering it. You might feel stuck before talking to the difficult, but if they are essential to you for the latest conversations, you need to think about all the fundamental matters.

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